


if love's a risk worth taking (i've never been that girl)

by Suicix



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ambiguous Relationships, Angst, Community: femslashficlets, Denial of Feelings, F/F, Friends With Benefits, Internal Conflict
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 03:02:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7667734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suicix/pseuds/Suicix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Maybe Sasha should break the pattern she’s fallen into of leaving every time, maybe she should just stay here and go to sleep, just like Becky expects (though really, how can Becky expect it?), but she can’t argue with the voice in her head that’s telling her that running is always easier than having to admit that she’s way out of her depth.</i>
</p>
<p>Written for <a href="http://femslashficlets.dreamwidth.org/91342.html">Challenge #066</a> - "song" - at Femslash Ficlets on Dreamwidth (Challenge #070 remainder period).</p>
            </blockquote>





	if love's a risk worth taking (i've never been that girl)

**Author's Note:**

> (for this challenge the mod was like "pick any song to be inspired by!" rather than just the word "song". in this case, the song is "real life" by the weeknd, which is where the title is (kind of) from.)

“You staying tonight?” Becky asks. One of her cheeks is pressed against one of the pillows on her bed, and Sasha is beside her, a hand in Becky’s hair.

She’d asked it earlier, too – back when Sasha arrived first arrived this evening – and her question was met with a shrug. Sasha knew the answer all along was _no, I’m not_ , but she didn’t have the heart to say it. Usually, it’d be easy to tell someone that, but it’s different with Becky somehow.

Again, Sasha shrugs.

“I guess we’ll have to see,” she says, and Becky raises an eyebrow at her.

“I think it’s a bit late for _we’ll have to see_ now,” Becky says plainly. “You’re in my bed, and you’re naked, and it’s the middle of the night, and we’re both tired. I think that pretty much answers my question.”

She almost sounds triumphant, but really, none of that answers her question. Not to Sasha, anyway, though she isn’t going to tell Becky that. She’ll leave when Becky falls asleep, and she’ll send a text in the morning – _sorry, had to run_ – and Becky will be understanding about it. Becky’s always so understanding.

“Well,” Becky continues after a pause, “goodnight, I guess.” She smiles and leans across to press a kiss to Sasha’s cheek, and then turns over so she can switch off the light.

Sasha shifts onto her back and stares up at the ceiling. There’s a moment, just a brief one, where she thinks – _maybe_. Maybe she should break the pattern she’s fallen into of leaving every time, maybe she should just stay here and go to sleep, just like Becky expects (though really, how can Becky expect it?), but Sasha can’t argue with the voice in her head that’s telling her that running is always easier than having to admit that she’s way out of her depth.

She begins her escape the moment she’s sure Becky’s asleep, rescuing her clothes from the floor and hurrying to get them on as silently as she can manage. Almost as soon as she’s got her socks back on her feet, there’s a noise from the bed, from _Becky_ , and she freezes, eyes wide, turning her head back to the bed in fear, but it’s nothing. Just a snore. Phew.

She heads for the door and then through the rest of the apartment, picking her jacket up from the couch and slipping into her shoes on the way out. It’s only when she gets to the front door that _those_ thoughts start to come back: what if she just – just lets things _happen_ , instead of trying to control everything herself? She’s already let Becky in more than she’s ever done for just about anybody else. That alone says something.

But to do that just – it just isn’t her. She can’t betray herself like that, even for someone like Becky. It would push her into being a different person, someone who isn’t her, someone who she doesn’t want to be. Who she’s _scared_ to be.

And even if Sasha wanted that, even if she wasn’t scared of it, she’s already made her decision – made it the moment she left Becky’s bed – so for tonight, at least, it’s too late.

So, as quietly as she can, Sasha lets the door shut behind her, wishing she could close a door on her feelings in just the same way.


End file.
